Most people are sleeping right now, snuggled warmly and contently in their beds, dreaming about happy things and/or their teeth falling out of their mouths. I’m awake and cold and my fingers feel a little bit numb, but I feel inspired and I haven’t felt inspired or creative in a depressingly long time. I created this blog almost two years ago because I wanted to keep up with my writing (as good or as bad as it might be) but this, as you can see, is my first post for 2012. Yeah, I kind of fell off the literary bandwagon and never got back on it; this is actually the first piece of non-academic or professional writing I’ve done in almost a year.
With a few encouraging drinks last week, I felt like it was time. When I tentatively logged in a few hours ago, I immediately wanted to destroy everything; my blog and my posts looked and felt outdated, like they had actually been collecting dust. Instead of running away and watching a re-run of Archer, I trashed 61 posts (kept three) and I changed the theme. I felt better. I already felt like I was ready to write again.
These past four months when I was doing nothing I was actually feeling quite directionless—and with that I guess comes a lot of guilt and shame (#firstworldproblems). I had grand plans to do this, to do that, to be that guy. My ambition and motivation dwindled before my eyes, and I only really saw that happen as I unwrapped and ate the seventh Maxibon for the week IN MY BED (alone).
I’m only just reminding myself now that I actually worked my sweatshopping-arse off last year because for some reason, it’s easy to forget; I interned, I volunteered, I pretended to give a shit at Tutankhamun, I moved out of home (again), I studied my Masters full-time, I helped build a school in Cambodia. I did good in 2011, real good. And I know that I can do it again even though it’s June (yuck, so “glass half-full”). There is change in the air guys, good change, and I’m preparing myself to ride that wave real high (but not too far because I’m not a strong swimmer).
So this is my second attempt at kennychailatte at WordPress dot com. I want to fill it with writing, with photos I’ve taken, with funny musings and drawings of people I do on the tram (because that’s what hipsters apparently do these days), with outrageous things my friends say and great music you should dance to.
Here’s hoping you’ll tune in, friends.